Tuesday, March 06, 2007
This one's for the ladies... Fellas, listen closely.
There are Five Classic Scams. This is Number Two.
I am sharing this with you ladies since you will see this scam, or variations thereof in your dealings with men of low character. I offer this information in the hopes that women will stop playing the Game, because the dumbest thing ever said is "Don't hate the player, hate the Game." Idiots, no players = no game. In addition, this particular scam works the best on the good girls, and in the end makes them believe there are no Good Guys, which of course is bullshit.
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You have to have enough on the ball to get the new girl to someplace where you are kissing, petting etc. and there is enough privacy to actually do the deed. This could be her house, your flat, a friend's bedroom - wherever you could actually have sex with little fear of interruption. If you cannot get here, stop reading and work on your conversational skills.
At some point during this epic makeout session it is likely that the girl will put the brakes on the action, because she does not want you to think she is a slut and will fall into bed with every silver-tongued raconteur that spins a witty yarn. It is your job to detect the beginnings of this subtle refusal, and right when she is about to say "Hold on, stop. Let's talk about this for a second" instead YOU stop, and pull away, but not too far.
You should appear embarrassed, and somewhat flustered when you tell the girl that she is a cool person, and that you definitely like her but you don't want to take things here that fast and that you really want to get to know her better before you take this next step of getting physical. It is critical that this be done convincingly.
If she believes you, she will now believe that you respect her, and are interested in her rather just getting laid. With a minor amount of encouraging, she will do the rest of the work to get you into the sack as she now actually likes and wants you. You can put your hands behind your head and enjoy the ride.
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Horrified? Or angry now that you have heard this before? The sad part about this scam is that a Good Guy might stop and say these things in all sincerity and the woman who has heard this before will think that he is a cad pulling a short con. Of course, the best way to test for caddishness is to hold yourself to a higher standard of virtue, and if you make discretion your watchword - Then you will not fall prey to this scam or any of the other Classic Four.
I am sharing this with you ladies since you will see this scam, or variations thereof in your dealings with men of low character. I offer this information in the hopes that women will stop playing the Game, because the dumbest thing ever said is "Don't hate the player, hate the Game." Idiots, no players = no game. In addition, this particular scam works the best on the good girls, and in the end makes them believe there are no Good Guys, which of course is bullshit.
----------
You have to have enough on the ball to get the new girl to someplace where you are kissing, petting etc. and there is enough privacy to actually do the deed. This could be her house, your flat, a friend's bedroom - wherever you could actually have sex with little fear of interruption. If you cannot get here, stop reading and work on your conversational skills.
At some point during this epic makeout session it is likely that the girl will put the brakes on the action, because she does not want you to think she is a slut and will fall into bed with every silver-tongued raconteur that spins a witty yarn. It is your job to detect the beginnings of this subtle refusal, and right when she is about to say "Hold on, stop. Let's talk about this for a second" instead YOU stop, and pull away, but not too far.
You should appear embarrassed, and somewhat flustered when you tell the girl that she is a cool person, and that you definitely like her but you don't want to take things here that fast and that you really want to get to know her better before you take this next step of getting physical. It is critical that this be done convincingly.
If she believes you, she will now believe that you respect her, and are interested in her rather just getting laid. With a minor amount of encouraging, she will do the rest of the work to get you into the sack as she now actually likes and wants you. You can put your hands behind your head and enjoy the ride.
------------
Horrified? Or angry now that you have heard this before? The sad part about this scam is that a Good Guy might stop and say these things in all sincerity and the woman who has heard this before will think that he is a cad pulling a short con. Of course, the best way to test for caddishness is to hold yourself to a higher standard of virtue, and if you make discretion your watchword - Then you will not fall prey to this scam or any of the other Classic Four.
# posted by Crom @ 21:41 
Comments:
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Absolutely horrifying. Disgusting, crass, manipulative crap. Thoroughly shocking that none of the men I've ever dated have had either the decency or the native wit to use it. They just bulldozed in with the standard 'what are you, some kind of Crazy Fundamentalist Christian Prude?!!' line, and stuck to it at all costs.
'All costs' meaning it cost them moi, of course.
'All costs' meaning it cost them moi, of course.
I actually heard this from a soldier long ago. He was stationed nearby and was expounding on his exploits during staff and mentioned this technique. I had the idea in mind for some time that there are a few classic games that men run in order to get women into bed and that these same patterns kept emerging. Being a student of human behavior, I found that the reemergence of the same five patterns intriguing, and concluded that there are Five Classic Scams.
Considering this lieutnenant was probably all of 25, the notion that this is a collegiate level scam is probably not that far off base. However, I would submit that while this core con seems puerile, subtle variations on it are still effective on older women. It's simply a matter of finding her motivations and using them against her.
You did catch the part at the end, where I provide the antidote to this? Also, you must remember that you are a hardened veteran of the Relationship Wars and a simple ambush like this would not be effective on you. Also, you are not an average female. However, there are many females who this technique would be positively effective on, regardless of years.
Considering this lieutnenant was probably all of 25, the notion that this is a collegiate level scam is probably not that far off base. However, I would submit that while this core con seems puerile, subtle variations on it are still effective on older women. It's simply a matter of finding her motivations and using them against her.
You did catch the part at the end, where I provide the antidote to this? Also, you must remember that you are a hardened veteran of the Relationship Wars and a simple ambush like this would not be effective on you. Also, you are not an average female. However, there are many females who this technique would be positively effective on, regardless of years.
# posted by 
: Wed Mar 07, 07:20:00 AM CST
: Wed Mar 07, 07:20:00 AM CST
Also, you are not an average female.
I've been suspecting this for years. However, saying 'you are not an average female' is one of the scams that's been used on me, quite frequently...
I've been suspecting this for years. However, saying 'you are not an average female' is one of the scams that's been used on me, quite frequently...
(That)"is one of the scams that's been used on me, quite frequently..."
I think that you should take that as a compliment.
The fact that it happens frequently should tip you off to a. your uniqueness and b. if it's used a lot then you present an enigma to the average cad, enough so that he must default to the "you are not like the women I normally date" card, and then follow it up with ham-handed pass.
Playing on our innate desires to be seen as an individual is a shopworn technique, and I would recommend that anyone who plays this card be dismissed. What you want is someone who will revel in the fact that you are different than other ladies, rather than see it as an obstacle to overcome. You want someone who can find the joy in your individuality and delight in discovering your various layers. If they instead rush to drill through the veneer quickly in order to land you in the sack, it's firm handshake goodnight time.
I have a narrow-minded view however, I now believe that sex should not be the end goal, but rather a continual step in a relationship. That is why I always advocate waiting until there is an emotional bond in place, it screens out the "hit it and forget it" types almost immediately, and drops the percentage of regrets quite sharply.
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I think that you should take that as a compliment.
The fact that it happens frequently should tip you off to a. your uniqueness and b. if it's used a lot then you present an enigma to the average cad, enough so that he must default to the "you are not like the women I normally date" card, and then follow it up with ham-handed pass.
Playing on our innate desires to be seen as an individual is a shopworn technique, and I would recommend that anyone who plays this card be dismissed. What you want is someone who will revel in the fact that you are different than other ladies, rather than see it as an obstacle to overcome. You want someone who can find the joy in your individuality and delight in discovering your various layers. If they instead rush to drill through the veneer quickly in order to land you in the sack, it's firm handshake goodnight time.
I have a narrow-minded view however, I now believe that sex should not be the end goal, but rather a continual step in a relationship. That is why I always advocate waiting until there is an emotional bond in place, it screens out the "hit it and forget it" types almost immediately, and drops the percentage of regrets quite sharply.
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